If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in the endless cycle of dieting, food rules, and guilt, you’re not alone. Episode 43 of the Crush Cravings with Confidence Podcast is all about one of the most common struggles I hear from women every day: how do I stop following the food rules?

Food rules seem innocent at first. Eat this, don’t eat that. Calories in, calories out. Only eat at certain times. Carbs are bad. Sugar is evil. Don’t eat after 7 PM. You know the drill. These rules promise control, safety, and weight loss. But in reality, food rules end up stealing your joy, creating shame, and keeping you trapped in the binge–restrict cycle.

In this blog post, I’ll share with you what I talked about on the podcast: why food rules don’t work, the deeper cost of living by them, and—most importantly—five steps you can take to finally break free and build true food freedom.

The Hidden Problem with Food Rules

When I was stuck in emotional eating, I thought food rules were the answer. If I could just be “good enough” and follow all the rules, then I wouldn’t crave chips or cookies anymore. But here’s the truth: food rules actually make cravings worse.

Why? Because your brain doesn’t like being told “no.” The second you say, “I can’t have bread,” suddenly bread is all you can think about. Restriction creates obsession. And when you eventually “break the rule,” it doesn’t stop at one bite—you binge, because in your mind the rule is already broken.

The guilt and shame spiral kicks in. You tell yourself you’ve failed again. Then you make even stricter rules. And the cycle repeats.

That’s not freedom. That’s prison.

Why We Hold Onto Food Rules

So if food rules don’t work, why do we cling to them? Because they give us a false sense of control.

Food rules make us believe:

• “If I follow the rules, I’ll finally lose weight… And THEN I’ll be happy”

• “If I cut carbs, then I won’t binge…. Because I know that I’m really a sugar addict”

• “If I stick to the plan, I’ll prove I have willpower… If I don’t stick to the plan I’’ be a failure!”

But here’s the problem: control isn’t the same as trust. Food rules are about force and restriction, not self-compassion and trust. And trust is what you actually need to have a peaceful relationship with food.

The Emotional Toll of Food Rules

Food rules don’t just affect your eating. They affect your emotions, relationships, and self-worth.

• You avoid dinners with friends because you’re afraid of breaking a rule.

• You spend your nights obsessing over calories instead of relaxing.

• You feel like you can’t trust yourself around “bad” foods.

• You wake up every Monday swearing you’ll “start fresh” and follow the rules perfectly—only to end the week in guilt and frustration.

Living by food rules is exhausting. And deep down, you know it’s not sustainable.

Five Steps to Break Free from Food Rules

So how do you stop following food rules and start living in food freedom? In Episode 43, I walked through five powerful steps you can take right now.

1. Notice the Old Boring Thoughts

Food rules are just old, recycled thoughts. “Carbs are bad.” “I have no willpower.” “If I eat one cookie, I’ll eat the whole box.” Sound familiar?

These thoughts aren’t exciting or true—they’re just habits. The first step is to notice them without judgment and label them for what they are: boring, old stories.

2. Ask: Is This Way Actually Working For Me?

Be brutally honest with yourself. Has following food rules ever truly worked long-term? Or has it just led to more obsession, more shame, and more binges?

If the answer is no, then it’s time to release them. Because holding onto what doesn’t work keeps you stuck in the same loop year after year.

3. Replace Rules with Self-Compassion

Instead of “I can’t have that,” try, “How would I feel if I had this?”

Instead of “I always sabotage myself,” try, “I’m learning to trust myself more each day.”

Self-compassion is the opposite of willpower. When you actually care for yourself, you don’t want to punish your body with 14 cookies—you naturally make choices that feel good.

4. Give Yourself Permission

Permission is powerful. When you allow all foods, you remove the “forbidden fruit” effect. Cookies become just cookies—not a guilty pleasure, not a temptation, just food.

That doesn’t mean you’ll binge on cookies forever. It means you’ll stop obsessing, and your cravings will lose their intensity.

5. Focus on Connection, Not Control

Food rules thrive when you feel disconnected—disconnected from yourself, your purpose, your relationships. The real craving isn’t food—it’s connection.

When you honor that craving with meaningful connection, joy, and purpose, food loses its grip.

Reframing Common Food Rule Thoughts

Here are some examples I shared on the podcast of how you can reframe those boring, old thoughts into empowering new ones:

• Old thought: “I’m addicted to sugar.”
  New thought: “I’m learning to trust myself around all foods.”
  

• Old thought: “If I mess up once, I’ve ruined everything.”
  New thought: “One choice doesn’t define me. I can reset at any moment.”
  

• Old thought: “I’ll never get this right.”
  New thought: “Every step counts, even the messy ones.”
  

• Old thought: “I need control.”
  New thought: “I’m safe to loosen control and still feel grounded.”
  

• Old thought: “I’ll be happy when I lose 20 pounds.”
  New thought: “I don’t need to earn happiness—I can feel joy right now.”

These shifts may seem small, but they add up. Each time you replace a food rule with compassion, you take one step closer to true food freedom.

Why Progress Isn’t Linear

I want you to know something really important: progress isn’t a straight line. You’re going to have messy moments. You’re going to eat more than you planned sometimes. You’re going to fall back into old thoughts.

That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human.

Healing emotional eating and letting go of food rules is a journey of building trust, compassion, and connection. And every step—yes, even the messy ones—moves you forward.

Switch From Control to Freedom

So here’s the truth: food rules will never give you the life you want. They’ll never give you peace with food, freedom in your body, or confidence in yourself.

But when you let go of control and start practicing self-compassion, trust, and connection, everything changes. Food becomes an afterthought. You finally get to live your life with purpose, passion, and joy—not constant obsession over what’s on your plate.

Take Your Next Step Toward Food Freedom

If you’re tired of living by food rules, it’s time to take your next step.

🎧 Listen to Episode 43 of the Crush Cravings with Confidence Podcast: How Can I Stop Following the Food Rules?

📅 And if you’re ready to stop dieting for good and finally experience food freedom, I’d love to invite you to book a free Food Freedom Discovery Call with me. Together, we’ll uncover the hidden patterns behind your cravings, release the food rules that keep you stuck, and create a plan for lasting peace with food.

You deserve to live a life where food is simple, joyful, and free—and I’d be honored to help you get there.